Sunday, October 5, 2014

Let it GO

No. That is not a reference to Frozen. As Ayden Jane turned seven this week we had so much to celebrate and be thankful for. We did that! There are so many ways that Ayden Jane is blowing PWS out of the water and making it seem like just some little thing she deals with. Yep, kicked some butt at swim team, reading like a champ, can trade wits with a teenager, manages to be thoroughly happy without sugar in her diet, fearless in her approach to life... I could go on.

Just when you start to be excited about these things, PWS manages to sneak up on you. Well, it snuck up on me, not so much Ayden Jane. Saturday as I watched her soccer game, PWS just glared at me. Her team played a team of girls all her age that train together and are prepping for club soccer. They are sweat kids, good friends and several are in her school. They are the group of girls that would likely be Ayden Jane's good friends ... IF she had all her of chromosome 15 intact.

Instead, Ayden Jane wandered around a bit lost. Honestly, she was super tired from the awesome birthday week. It was her first game so she was still 'taking it all in' as she does during the first of most anything. She was more concerned about drinking and going to the bathroom than playing. She was obviously not in sinc with the rest of her team, or with anyone else for that matter.

Now I need to take a lesson from Ayden Jane. She was happy. She was not worried about much of anything, she was just enjoying a pretty day on a soccer field and doing what she could do and not worrying about she couldn't. I don't know why I let it bother me when she lags behind upon occasion because it doesn't bother her. Generally, she kicks it into gear in her own time and it all comes together.

Somehow, I need to figure out how let go of the things that she is just not going to be great at, even if she wants to be and be thankful for the things she does do well and the incredible can do spirit she has. I guess that sounds pretty obvious and like it shouldn't be too hard. It's just that it sneaks up on me. I get angry that her body is uncooperative and takes away the ability to simply run and play with ease. I begin to go down that dangerous path in my head of thinking about what she would be like if she had all of her DNA. I begin to allow bitterness for what she cannot do and the struggles she faces creep in when I should focus on how awesome she is and all the things she CAN do.

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