Thursday, March 22, 2012

Time to Listen

Ayden Jane has a lot to say.  It does not come out quickly, but if you are patient and listen and don't try to finish her sentences...  She will get comfortable and on quite a roll.  There are the rare occasions when adults are just that great with little kids that they get it.  The slow down and enter the world of Ayden Jane.

The other night at the soccer field was one of those occasions.  Coach R has been a friend of our family for a long time.  He coached Noah for many years when he was young (8-13?), Kayla for a year or so and Mckenna for 2 years.  He is a great person as well as coach.  He was there and concerned for our family from the start with Ayden Jane.

Coach R will often stop to try and get Ayden Jane to give him a high 5 or chat with him as he is scurrying past... It doesn't really work as it takes time for Ayden Jane to get rolling.  The other night we stayed a bit late and as all the kids were done and I started to chat with R, Ayden Jane started to chime in.  R immediately dropped our conversation and popped down to AJ's level.  She started to get really going and he patiently waited for her to get long complicated thoughts out.  By the end of it all, Ayden Jane had teased him, backed him into a corner in conversation and interrogated him on the ins and outs of coaching.

After they were done, R told me how great her vocabulary and verbal skills are and how amazing she is.  He remembers the beginning and saw the differences between AJ and his son who is just a few months younger.  He has seen her struggle to do all the things she now does with ease.  I know that many families of kids with PWS do not get this sort of feed back and I don't mean because she is nearly 'typical'.  I mean, the recognition from others who don't live in our world of special needs that our kids are amazing.  Not pity for how hard their lives are, or how hard they have to work.  Not platitudes of how hard it must be ... Not self conscious, awkward conversation where they are trying, (which is appreciated) but totally uncomfortable.  Honest, cheering them along right beside us, proud of their accomplishments, eye twinkling enjoyment of our kids.

It all starts with time.  Slowing down and giving them time to show who they are.  Taking time to enjoy where they take us.  Following them into their little world for a glimpse.  Accepting them and marveling in their unique little persons.

Thanks to all of you who slow down and take time to get to know kids who just need someone to give them some time.

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