Wednesday, November 20, 2013


There is a boldness and confidence about Ayden Jane.  Sometimes I am in awe of how she approaches everything just knowing that she can do it.  She totally believes in herself and almost doesn't even see the things she can't do.

She played soccer this fall.  Well, she was on a soccer team this fall.  She had her moments where she was right in there but by and large she just runs up and down the field... She does not kick well and timing running and kicking?  Nope.  In fact, she can't even make up her mind which foot to kick with!  So, if you ask her about soccer she will tell you she is awesome.  She will try her best if you ask her to do something and then be proud of her accomplishment.

She is the same with reading.  She is doing a great job and is a pretty average reader.  Ask her and she will tell you that she reads very well and in fact can read anything.  ha.  She recognizes that other kids are better at reading and some not, but she doesn't really care what other kids can do.  It is awesome.

Last night we were at Mckenna's cross country banquet.  The coaches talked about the effort put in and the improvements kids made.  They talked about how, through running, the kids found confidence and a belief in themselves.  Ayden Jane listened intently and asked me how long they had to run fast.  I said about 20 minutes and Ayden Jane grinned.  I know I can do that when I get as big as Mckenna.  I am going to run cross country mom.  Yep.  Swagger.

The flipside is Mckenna.  She is beautiful, athletic, smart, musical, artistic and a middle school kiddo.  She lacks swagger.  She approaches things unsure of whether or not she can do them.  She is so talented she should have loads of swagger, but it is just not there.  She ran cross country this fall and when she started she honestly could not complete a mile running.  She worked at it (holding back of course) and was thrilled when she finished her first race.  Her time?  30 min....  As the season went on she continued to improve but still always held back.  In her final race she was chatting and making a friend. lol.  We are so proud of her season ending time of 25:34 and look forward to her gaining a bit of swagger over the coming years.

Mckenna is an awesome kid and I often wonder if some of her lack of confidence comes from Ayden Jane.  Maybe it comes from the attention she did not get when she was little because we had to pour time into Ayden Jane.  Maybe realizing that there are things that mom's and dad's can't fix was too much for her.  Maybe having two amazing older siblings she doesn't think she can live up to plays in as well.  Who knows.  What I do know is that I see the beginnings of swagger.  Just glimpses here and there and I am hoping and praying for Mckenna to attack life with the same confidence and swagger that Ayden Jane does.  Heck, Mckenna has all the talent to back it up! 

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